just thinking...

so kyra's post really made me think. back when i used to blog over at xanga, and keep up with it alot more intentionally, i closed many blogs by saying '...may you find joy in face of day to day living...' i wish i lived into those words far better than i do.
there are many beautiful things in these days, but this is also a bizarre age to be. so many girls my age are getting married and having babies and buying homes, and being far more adult than i am. some days, that's frustrating. i'm in my parents basement, the only thing of value i own is a car, i can't seem to figure out dating, let alone fathom a relationship that will lead to marriage. and there are ZERO babies on my horizon for a long while to come. largely to do with the inability to even fathom marriage... haha. i can barely afford my car payments most month, let alone even consider a home. i feel like maybe i'm still stuck in my teenage years, like i should be more 'mature' than i am. and then i realize how much i cherish these days. i love the freedom to pick up and go wherever i want, whenever i want. i love that i can embrace these 'gypsy feet' that lead me hither and tither. i've met alot of great people this year in edmonton, and i'm enjoying building relationships with them. i love my church, and i'm enjoying school. these are good days, and i need to remember that more. i can't just live for tomorrow, and as a Disciple, i ought'n't live for tomorrow. i need to be living in these moments, living as I believe Jesus is calling me to live, to embrace my situation and circumstance and seek the ways that i can love and live and learn and laugh in each moment.
i do love these days, and i'm mostly denying myself a bounty of joy when i long for the days still to come. a healthy perspective of future is good, but living for the future is not. this is a good life stage. 22 is an age which i am greatly enjoying. my family is well and full of laughter. my friends are wonderful souls that are ever causing me to love them more. these are good days. and i want to look back on them fondly, knowing that i lived them the best i could, and gave to them all that i could. i can't ask more of myself than that.
so this is most likely incoherent, but it's what's floating 'round my head tonight, so since i'm procrastinating, you get to hear about it! lucky you...